Friday, February 8, 2008

The Devil in Bush's Left Ear

There is absolutely no doubt that the mechanism is in place for George W. Bush to declare martial law and cancel the election. It's there, a viable option, right in front of him, or more accurately, to his left, the little devil on his shoulder whispering things in his ear, "You don't have to step down," says the devil, looking a bit like Karl Rove, chubby, balding, a red-hot pitchfork in hand matching his red-hot go-go skin, ready to poke it up your ass, a cute little chipmunk voice, James Earl Jones sped up to Alvin, "you can be president forever. Go ahead, be a dictator, you can actually do it, you're in the perfect position to CONQUER THE WORLD."

Of course we see the problem here. There is no cute little angel on his other shoulder saying "Don't do it, don't listen to him," an angel, with little animated wings, female of course, the young Vanessa Redgrave, the young Jane Fonda, a diaphanous gown that goes see-through when wet, a sultry voice, Demi Moore, no pitchfork, a feather in hand to tickle and entice, "C'mon, baby, your place in history is already assured," tickling his lobe, making kissy sounds, countering the devil, "Let others take over, it's the right thing to do."

That angel is supposed to be a free press. If only he read newspapers. Without that angel, the poor dumb bastard would have to think those thoughts himself, so we'll just have to see how that goes.

Some people complain about the use of the word evil when applied to Bush, claiming he's just lame or incompetent and he's got good intentions, so this would seem to be the litmus test. He' s got a genuine chance now to prove himself not evil.

Uh-oh, here comes that fucking devil again: "Keep torturing those terrorists, look at the tapes yourself, you know what you're looking for, the perfect upcoming terrorist plot, not to stop it but to let it happen, to use it, just like you used the last one, for your own purposes. All it takes is one successful act of terrorism on US soil before November and you can declare martial law and CONQUER THE WORLD."

The phrase reverberates throughout his empty head. CONQUER THE WORLD. Yeee, haaaaw, I could actually do it. Alexander, he wasn't so great, thought he could conquer the world without nucular power, Genghis Khan, on horseback?, gimme a break, and Hitler, what a wus, thought he could conquer the world without cellphones and global positioning systems. I'm the first guy who could actually pull it off. We gots the technology and military bases in 62 countries I can't even pronounce and they all gotta do exactly what I say if I declare martial law and all I need is an excuse, but it's got to be just the right one and I can't think like a terrorist, them boys is clever, so what we gots to do is grab a bunch of 'em and torture 'em and see what we come up with. Don't matter if it's true or not. We just want to take advantage of their devious brains. Hell, one of em musta thought'a sumpin we can use.

And then we'll know if he's evil or not. I say we can clear the boards of the "evil" charge if Bush simply allows the upcoming elections and sees through the transfer of power. It would mean he listened to the angel in his right ear. I wouldn't bet on it.

1 comment:

  1. This is only if the Chinese will agree to pay for Junior to be king of the world, a doubtful proposition. I think they have 'Bush fatigue' just like everybody else.