Friday, October 28, 2011

10 Things Occupy Seattle is Asking from Seattle City Hall

Occupy Seattle's permit to occupy City Hall is up at the end of the month so I'll be signing the new permit to keep us going for at least another week. I'm thinking of all the things I need to ask for, like more space and the occasional use of a Xerox machine and the rights of children to camp.

It's a legitimate negotiating strategy to deliberately include things you don't really want in order to give them the opportunity to turn something down and feel superior, so here's my official list of the 10 things I'm inviting Seattle City Hall to say no to...

  1. A bonfire.
  2. Pony rides.
  3. A tropical fish tank full of piranhas for leftover vagrants.
  4. Turning the plaza into an ice rink and doing a show called Homeless on Ice.
  5. A bunny farm so we can all wake up surrounded by hundreds of bunnies.
  6. A merry-go-round.
  7. A public hanging in effigy of every bankster in Seattle who got away with stealing millions of dollars, through fraud and deception, from the innocent who now suffer.
  8. An Occu-pie-fight, where we invite the 99% to City Hall to throw pies at each other.
  9. A job, a home, some food, maybe a little medicine, preferably pot.
  10. A theatrical production of The Occupied Piper, about an Ian Anderson wannabe who leads the homeless out of City Hall to the city park of their dreams, only to have City Hall renege on the deal to pay him, so he teams up with Anonymous to close all their bank accounts, default on their loans and mortgages, and lead them to Ivar's Acres of Clams where they all have one final bowl of chowder before marching off the pier into the Puget Sound like lemmings.


  1. Better watch it MD - they might take you up on item 3... and on number 8, can we make it a representative (NOT an avatar) of the 1%???

    As for number 10, let's shoot it...(as in filming/taping - not ready for bullets yet)

  2. I forgot to ask for a petting zoo.