Monday, February 9, 2009

Gotta recommend the Bus Slogan Generator

"Atheists have started advertising on buses in the UK. Do you want to see your own message on the side of a bus? Well now's your chance."









David Letterman airs the 'lost' Bill Hicks routine

by Steve Korn

This past Friday night, David Letterman devoted a chunk of his show to a bit of insider baseball, a piece of late-night talk show history that probably meant nothing to 99 percent of his audience, but enough to him to give about half his show over to it. The segment centered around a legendary ''lost'' routine by the comedian Bill Hicks from the early days of the Late Show in 1993. Its legend comes not from viewers' memories of it, but because no one got to see it (this was a time before all video made its way onto the Internet within hours). As Letterman explained on Friday, he deemed the routine not suitable to air, for reasons he seems at a loss to explain. In a sad coda, Hicks, a frequent guest on Letterman's 12:30 a.m. show on NBC who was visiting the then-new CBS 11:30 p.m. Late Show for the first time, would be dead from cancer months later.

See David Letterman's introduction of the segment here:

With Hicks' mother as his guest on Friday, Letterman revisited this long-ago episode, finally airing the 1993 routine in its entirety. It's a fascinating segment, watching him tread on this uncomfortable ground, coming face-to-face with the idea you can't put your arms around a memory; whatever he'd want to say to Hicks now, he can't. In the second part of the segment, here he is trying to say it to Hicks' mom:

It's compelling to watch Letterman seeming to struggle from the perspective of 2009 to understand –- or make us understand -- a decision made in the far-different television universe of 1993. Hicks' brand of social commentary -– his routine, embedded below, includes barbs on aggressively mindless pop culture figures of the day, cultural attitudes about homosexuality, pro-lifers, and religious symbolism -- must have seemed discomfiting so soon after Letterman lost The Tonight Show gig to Jay Leno, and an endless stream of commentary questioned if Letterman's ''edgier''-by-comparison approach had a chance to succeed on CBS at the earlier hour.

Flash ahead a decade and a half, and time has changed everything: The 11:30 Letterman show is a fixed spot on the national pop culture landscape, and Bill Hicks' work still has resonance. After the Hicks routine, Letterman notes that the piece really doesn't seem dated, and other than a reference to Billy Ray Cyrus here and ''Marky Mark'' there, that's true (the names may change, but a mind-set remains the same). But here's what I'm wondering: Even with all the proliferation of late-night talk, would someone with something to say on issues that Bill Hicks tackles here even get booked in 2009? If there's a Bill Hicks out there working now, will he or she get on Late Show, The Tonight Show, or Jimmy Kimmel Live? In the age of the Internet and cable, does it even matter?

Still, it's interesting to see Letterman's perspective shift from one of a younger, competitive host wanting to win a ratings war, to a more human attempt to tell a mom who seems still to feel stung by how the rejection affected her critically ill son (a fact Letterman makes clear was not known by the show at the time) that his work deserved better and to at least publicly acknowledge a lingering regret that a decision made in the heat of one moment looks unnecessarily harsh with the passage of time. What happened then can't be undone, but give Letterman points for trying to wrestle with it all these years on, and letting us watch.

Anyone else moved by this last Friday? Do you think late-night TV -- or TV in general -- is still willing to address issues Hicks deals with in 2009, or has the ratings war destroyed that aspect?

http://popwatch.ew.com/popwatch/2009/02/david-letterman.html

Belated Christmas Gift from Hell

The Dark Knight Joker Combination Ski Mask & Winter Beanie

Other products by Bewild, Dark Knight
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Barack Obama is Tired of Your Motherfucking Shit

Thursday, January 29, 2009

T-Shirt Hell Going out of business sale

OMG, T-shirt hell is going out of business. Everything's 10% off during their final two weeks. In case you need a shirt, or just a politically incorrect laugh, check out http://www.tshirthell.com/hell.shtml.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Proud papa. My son performing "Why I Write" on YouTube

Mike Dare, Portland Oregon, 2009
 

Fuckwad pushes to outlaw profanity

 
Robert Ford

By Larry Collins

State Senator Robert Ford is hoping to outlaw lewd language and is pushing for a bill that would prohibit profanity.

Under the pre-filed bill, profanity could land you in jail for up to 5 years and/or cost you up to $5,000 in fines.

Which words are exactly considered profane is still unclear, but the bill does have a list of qualifications for profanity including words or actions that are lewd, vulgar or indecent in nature.

We spoke to Debra Gammons with the Charleston School of Law about freedom of speech.

She reminds that the First Amendment is not absolute. You cannot say whatever you want whenever you want to.

Courts will usually look at where the words were said and who heard them. Children are usually protected.

Click the Video Tab to see that story.

You can read the bill for yourself at http://www.scstatehouse.gov/cgi-bin/query.exe?first=DOC&querytext=profanity&category=Legislation&session=118&conid=4356264&result_pos=0&keyval=1180056 .

http://www.counton2.com/cbd/news/local/article/sen._robert_ford_pushes_to_outlaw_profanity/19213/

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Peter, Paul, Mary, and Rush: Part II - Judgment Day

Paul Krassner & Nancy Cain said "well done and rare, simultaneously."

But Phil Proctor said "Michael, you know I love and appreciate you, but you are so wrong on this issue, it fucking staggers me. This is Nazi-style propaganda disguised as parody. Think it over."


Baron Dave Romm said "A fair point. I praise lots of political satire, when I agree with it. I haven't said anything about 'We Hate the USA' except to note that some of it came from Limbaugh whom I dismiss pretty much out of hand."

Michael Simmons said "Utterly refreshing. The politically correctums of any ideology or religion are a pain in the ass."

Someone named Julia said "NICE ONE!!!:) where can one find the republicans with this now infamous cd? I WANT IT!!! LOL&HAPPY NEW YEAR"

Lee Quarnstrom said "Hey, could it be that Puff the Magic Dragon is a DRUG song? Nah, just kiddin'."

Anonymous said "Being a Tennessean, I dislike a pointedly racial satirical song sent out as a Christmas gift by one of my representatives. It might be a clever piece, but at this time of such overwhelming serious issues facing our country it smacks of stupidity to think anyone but a racist will find it funny. Read the lyrics." and another Anonymous said "I defend free speech in every way I can. Something has to incite violent action before I will decry it. This doesn't. But fuck, oh fuck, that singer is crap. Not the sweet voices of the original saccharine garbage, but just crap. It's like listening to a chainsaw taking your arm off. It's painful." A third anonymous said...

"Bush’s Magic Tax Cut lives in DC
And funnels through our pocketbooks an oil subsidy.
Texaco and Enron loved that rascal Bush,
They filled his PACS
With money sacks
That came up to his tush!"

Ken Carman said "I'm curious. Did Yarrow actually say such satire should be banned? 'Unacceptable' is an 'unacceptable' substitute, and not a synonym. If he did: point made. If he didn't, you're point has the consistency of what drops out of the most southward portal of a moose going north. As far as the sickly sweetness that one poster mentioned, yeah PPM can be that from time to time, especially after 'Reunion,' but give me that post strained elderly vocal harmonies anytime over some of the more slick vomit drenched in cliched pedal steel Music Row puts out. Talk about something being stupidly sweet and banal. That stuff will give your brain cavities."

And my favorite. Jeff Norman said "Peter Yarrow can kiss my big black ass."


In Puff the Magic Dragon Offended by 'Barack the Magic Negro' Song, President-elect Not So Much by ABC News Senior White House Correspondent Jake Tapper, he mentions that in an interview with Paul W. Smith of WJR Radio in Detroit, Obama was asked about the song and he didn't seem too concerned about it.

"I have to do this because Rush is on our radio station," Smith said. "We're going to see him tomorrow. You've heard the parody song 'Barack the "Magic Negro?'"

"You know, I have not heard it but I've heard of it," Obama said. "I confess that I don't listen to Rush on a daily basis. On the other hand, I'm not one of these people who, who takes myself so seriously that I get offended by -- by every -- every comment made about me. You know, the -- you know, what Rush does is entertainment, and although it's probably not something that I listen to much, I don't -- "

"But you said not every day, so you do listen a little then, and why wouldn't you?" Smith interrupted.

"I don't mind, I don't mind, I don't mind folks poking fun at me," Obama said. "That's part of the job."
Just about everything offensive in the song comes directly from David Ehrenstein's original article from the LA Times, Obama the 'Magic Negro, in which Ehrenstein explains the history of the phrase...

The Magic Negro is a figure of postmodern folk culture, coined by snarky 20th century sociologists, to explain a cultural figure who emerged in the wake of Brown vs. Board of Education. "He has no past, he simply appears one day to help the white protagonist," reads the description on Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magical_Negro .

He's there to assuage white "guilt" (i.e., the minimal discomfort they feel) over the role of slavery and racial segregation in American history, while replacing stereotypes of a dangerous, highly sexualized black man with a benign figure for whom interracial sexual congress holds no interest.
Can't blame modern Republicans for resurrecting a phrase that's been around for decades. Blame Ehrenstein for that.

I'm afraid the whole definition of racism is changing, and we're going to have to usher in a new era in which it's okay for whites to make fun of blacks, simply because you can't stop us from making fun of the president.

Imagine Tom Lehrer on stage, finishing off a rousing rendition of Poisoning Pigeons in the Park, saying "The LA Times has called our president elect 'Obama the Magic Negro.' I can't help but wonder if Al Sharpton were a member of Peter, Paul and Mary, what would he think of the Times article? I have a modest example..." And he sings the song.

Or Kenan Thompson playing a dynamite Al Sharpton, as he has many times on SNL, reading the article in the Los Angeles Times, getting hit on the head, the video gets all wavy, and when he wakes up, he's dreaming he's Peter, Paul, and Mary singing Barack the Magic Negro. Tell me you wouldn't laugh. Context is all it takes, and if Saturday Night Live had the balls it used to have, they'd do it this week.

Lehrer's a major genius and I'm certainly not saying Barack the Magic Negro comes close to matching his lyrical dexterity. Paul Shanklin isn't as articulate as Lehrer, as funny as Weird Al, as off-beat as Luke Ski, or as Jewish as Allan Sherman. Nevertheless all the problems with the song can be explained away by the concept: It's poorly recorded because it's a home recording by Al Sharpton, it's not well written because Al Sharpton is an idiot, it's not well sung because Al Sharpton can't sing, and it's politically incorrect because it's Al Fucking Sharpton.

Dreidel Dreidel Dreidel is a song from South Park. In it, Cartman sings "Dreidel dreidel dreidel, I made it out of clay, but I'm not going to play with it 'cause dreidel's fucking gay. Jews - play stupid games. Jews - That's why they're lame."

Taken out of context, this song could be played at a Nazi rally with every skinhead pinhead singing along, taking the damn thing seriously. As a Jew, that should piss me off.

But it doesn't because it's Cartman, the biggest asshole on the planet earth, one of the greatest characters in animation history, racist, fascist, manipulative, totally hilarious, and anyone who thinks the creators of South Park are ACTUALLY racist is just being a dick. They've created a CHARACTER who thinks such things and they dare to give him voice. If Nazis decided to use the song for their own nefarious purposes, and I'm surprised they haven't, that's good reason for getting angry at the Nazis, not Trey Parker and Matt Stone, who were just being funny.

It's good old "one step removed" humor, probably invented by Andy Kaufman when he first appeared on Saturday Night Live lip synching to the theme from Mighty Mouse. What made it funny was that he played it as a person who didn't think it was funny, who thought lip synching to Mighty Mouse was a performance actually worthy of national television, and it was, but only if you got it. Springtime for Hitler too; it simply can't be removed from its setting in The Producers as something that's deliberately the worst musical ever produced.

I understand there are people who just don't get it, who never have, and never will, find things like South Park funny. Not to beat a conundrum slowly but the humorless deserve a reasonable explanation for what's the big deal. Here it is.

Cartman doesn't hate Jews because they control the world's banks. He doesn't hate Jews because of all the killing in Gaza. He hates Jews because they play with dreidels and dreidels are lame. Who can argue with that? He's a five-year-old [actually eight-year-old] racist who only hates things a five-year-old [actually eight-year-old] would hate. Dreidel Dreidel Dreidel is funny because it's Cartman and Barack the Magic Negro is funny because it's Al Sharpton. Either song, taken out of the context of the character singing them, could easily be misinterpreted as racist, and racism is bad, mmmkay, like the word fuck, you should never say it or even type it, I get that. I also think one of the best ways to get rid of something is to make fun of it and to say fuck all the time.

Magic Negro #2

Decide for yourself what's funny. Here are MP3s of Peter, Paul, and Mary doing Puff the Magic Dragon, Paul Shanklin doing Al Sharpton doing Barack the Magic Negro, the cast of South Park doing Dreidel Dreidel Dreidel, the great Luke Ski doing Stealing Like a Hobbit, Frank Sinatra doing the theme from The Addams Family, the theme from The Perfect Storm as sung by Elton John and written by Tim Rice, and a mystery song just because I love you. Crank it.

CONTEST: Please submit lyrics to "Oprah the Magic Negro."

MD